Woody’s Dog Blog

I was reading libertylondongirl’s blog today, as you do. Well I clicked on one of her links and what did I see? Shall I show you? I’m not sure if it’s right … oh well, have a peek if you dare. I can’t remember the last time I saw such a fright … I couldn’t believe my eyes. A blue string bikini thong! How 2002 is that? And it doesn’t remotely match the pink bra top. What was she thinking?

Now I do like to keep abreast of couture matters, but don’t get me wrong. I’m not one of those pitiful pooches who get primped and blinged up like a dolly wolly, no no. Poochy Pringle sweaters? Not for me thanks very much. Personalised hound hoodies adorned with ‘Snoop’ or ‘My Mommy Rescued Me’ on the back? Puleeease. Little flicking pink doggy sneakers? With Velcro fastenings? Do I look like Tiffany the Toy Tinkerbell Twitface Terrier? It’s not right I tell you. I for one shall not be attending this year’s Pet Fashion Week in New York (the fact that the event only stretches over two days should give you some idea about the chumps that organise it.) The pets’ outfits have surely been dragged out of Julian Clary’s 1982 fantasy closet, and as for the tumors of misery who parade their wretched animals up and down the catwalk, well … they want a little tickle from the Diddymen if you ask me.

Those dogs should be rolling their fur in fox poo, not putting rollers in it.