Woody’s Dog Blog

Well, ’twas the night before Wednesday and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

And then there was only a flicking earthquake wasn’t there? Both my mas woke up straight away - apparently the bed shook quite violently and there was a noise like a hostess trolley full of assorted heated crockery and food matter being shunted across the room … one ma thought there was an intruder in the airing cupboard, the other just sat upright with mouth wide open and eyebrows riding high for a while, expecting one of our big fat cats to scramble out from underneath the bed with a full Noah’s Ark in tow. However, having subsequently searched the house for any disturbance, the mas found not only everything to be in tact, but that also both my cat bros and I remained sleepily unperturbed by the whole incident, so they staggered back to bed and mumbled ‘well I really thought there was someone blah blah … wonder what that was … weird … God knows.’ Cue snoring.

Good to know they’re on the ball anyway.

Well it’s no wonder I’ve been quiet for a few weeks is it? I’ve hardly had a chance to get my paws near the computer of late. Cooky Ma has become obsessed with Scrabulous, the somewhat topical (10 points) and litigious (bingo! double points plus a triple word score!) interweb game from facebook. She’s got about 13 games on the go at the moment (some concurrently with the same person) and so evenings are spent trying to unravel endless anagrams of non-existent words - inzani? nazini? ainil? linani? zil? plinp? plip? pli? … terrific! Five smelly points. What’s the point? My other ma (shall we call her Drinky Ma) was quite keen to get into it, so she challenged friend Sophie with a seven-letter word to begin with (it’s a bingo!) and then waited 2 weeks for the response. It came, and Ma responded, but the whole affair was tardy and well, suffice it to say that facebook deleted the game due to lack of interest from the key players.

Speaking of interest, and players, one of my foreign lady friends took me to the park this afternoon, and I met who I thought was my girlfriend Molly … ooh it looked just like her. So anyway Molly and I are quite close, and we were doing what dogs do when they love each other, and my walking lady suddenly balked in horror, clipped my lead onto me, and swiftly frogmarched me out of the park, apparently horrified that I’d been engaged in intimate relations with another boy dog - well she was yabbering on to me in Spanish how was I to know? It wasn’t till we got back to the shop and she outed me to Ma that the unfortunate incident really started to sink in. It made me feel quite ashamed and really shocked that I was friends with a flicking doggy homophobe.